South Park Oneshot Fun for the Whole Family
by KayTeeBeth
Summary: A collection of my finest and worst oneshots all in one multi-chap story. No particular theme, just all together in one. More to come! UPDATE: First songfic now included! Leave a review!
1. Caught Or Not

**Author's Note:** Alright, so I'm putting all my randomosity one shots in one multi-chaptered story! Here are a few points:

I'm going to do my best to stay in the South Park spirit.

I will avoid slash stories. I believe that the boys were never meant to be gay. They are straight. There might be some suggestive slash, but any same sex things among the boys will be kept to a minimum. So get over it!

Variety is key. These stories will range in quality, length, genre POVs and center characters. These could be some of the worst things on the site, they could be some of my best work, they could be really brutal stories where everyone dies, and they could be happy, fluffy, lighthearted stories. I just don't know!

The stories don't necessarily need to be read in order. When I get more out, you can read them however you like, or just skip one altogether. It's all good.

These are sort of a creative vent for me, OK? They are random and allow me some creative freedom. Don't be too harsh!

**Disclaimer: **Yeah, of course, I own South Park. ME! Not. Me no owny South Park. Got it? Good.

**Warning: **Stories may not be suitable for "the whole family." Use your discretion.

So now, enjoy...

**South Park One Shot Fun for the Whole Family**

**Story 1: Caught (or Not)**

Kyle's eyes followed Cartman as the fat ass paced intently. There was a smug look set on his face, and Kyle wasn't liking this one bit. He wanted to wipe the smirk off the fat bastard's face, but he controlled himself. It wouldn't be prudent to let himself get to worked up.

"So, Kaaaahle," Cartman trilled as he turned to face Kyle. "You thought you could get away with it, didn't you?"

Kyle's eyes narrowed. "Well, yeah, actually."

"Don't be a smartass! You're mine now, got it? This is my jail, and you're in it. So shut your god damn mouth!" Cartman snapped. "Maybe you'll learn your lesson. Some time in my jail might straighten you out."

"You can't keep me here forever," Kyle hissed. "Someone will come and get me out. Stan, or Kenny or even Tweek will notice I'm missing and come for me. But I will get out. I won't stay forever; it's not the way it works."

"You don't decide how it works, Kyle! You get no say in this. You're the captor, and you are mine! You have no rights! You here me, no rights! Nobody is coming for you, you are stuck. Got it?"

Kyle cocked an eyebrow. "Cartman, you're taking this pretty seriously. So what, I'm caught, I'm in your jail. I knew you'd be an ass about it, but you're really into this. Calm down, fat ass, it's just-"

"Kyle, don't interrupt me," Cartman said calmly.

"Actually, I didn't interrupt you, you interrupted me," Kyle pointed out.

"Kyle, don't interrupt me," Cartman repeated, a little firmer this time.

Kyle suspected the fat ass had more to say, but he spoke up before he had the chance. "Figures they'd put you in charge of watching the jail. You can't run to catch anyone, or to head over to our territory and not get caught. They had to do something with you, so they stuck you here. You don't have to really do anything physical, just catch the people rescuing the others from jail."

"Kyle, god DAMN it, I told you NOT TO INTERRUPT ME! SO SHUT YOUR FUCKING JEW MOUTH YOU ASSHOLE!" Cartman screeched. His large frame heaved as he panted angrily, and Kyle shut his mouth.

Cartman smiled as he was greeted by silence. "There, was that so hard, _Kaaaahle_? I didn't think so. I'm the boss here, and you better behave yourself, or you will be punished."

Kyle simply rolled his eyes in response, and bit back the remark that danced on the tip of his tongue. He hoped someone would get here soon. They would have a good chance of getting past Cartman, he was too distracted by his position of power. Cartman still had that smug look on his face. Kyle couldn't do anything, he was stuck. His pride wasn't liking this one bit.

What did Cartman mean by "punished"? What could he do to him? Of course the fat ass was enjoying this more than he should have been, but punished? That was taking things a little too far. Kyle thought he was bluffing. There was no way they'd let him "punish" people.

Would they?

"Gotcha!"

Kyle and Cartman looked over as someone tagged Kyle on the shoulder. Stan arrived none too soon.

"Ha! I told you someone would come for me!" Kyle cried out triumphantly.

"No. No! You can't leave, I OWN you!" Cartman called out in despair.

"No, Cartman, I'm free now. That's how the game works. You were supposed to be watching for people coming to tag me out. But you just had to take it too far. So now I'm out, and you lose, fat boy!" Kyle turned to Stan. "Let's go."

Stan looked back at Cartman quizzically as he cried out angrily. "What's up with him?"

"He seems to be really into this. He liked having me in captivity," Kyle shrugged.

"OK, so Tweek knows where the flag is, but he didn't get it. He managed to run back in time, but we know where it is now, at least," Stan updated Kyle. "What was jail like with Cartman as the prison guard?"

Kyle shook his head. "Dude, it was totally gay. Cartman should not be allowed to play capture the flag."

**Author's Note: **Hope that wasn't too bad... Remember, random stories...


	2. Dodgeball

**Author's Note:** Yes, here it is at last, another brain child. I have a few other ideas too, so keep watching! This one is total random and kinda similar to my last one, but meh. That is OK.

**Disclaimer:** Do I really have to do one every time? Aww, screw it. I don't own South Park.

**Dodgeball**

The fourth graders were on their stomachs, feet against the wall. The balls were laid out along the middle dividing line. Eyes narrowed, each team member glared at the classmate opposite them. This wasn't just any game. It was dodgeball. This was THE game, and they all knew it. Each team had one goal in mind. Both sides had one thing in common: a burning desire to win. There was no trophy, or nig cash prize. No, it was the glory of winning, and bragging rights.

There were three main characteristics that made a good dodgeball player. First was the ability to catch a ball. If you caught a ball, whoever threw it was out. In some variations, you could bring another member back on, but they weren't playing no pussy version. It was pure murder ball. You're hit, you're down. The second skill was a good arm. You had to be able to throw the sucker, or else there was no point in playing at all. But those skills were pointless without the last one. Dodging the ball. You couldn't make yourself an easy target. If you couldn't stay in the game, then you couldn't use your arm, or catching prowess. The key was to know your strengths, and use them to your advantage.

Stan looked around at his team. He was pretty satisfied with the results. He himself had a killer arm, and wasn't a particularly easy target. To his right was Kyle. Stan's best friend didn't have the best arm. In fact, he threw like a girl. But if a ball was coming at him, from any distance, at any speed, ant just about any height, he could catch it. As far as dodging went, it wasn't Kyle's forte, but he was good enough that coupled with his catching ability, it made him one of the best dodgeball players in the class.

Other than the two besties, they had Clyde, who could catch; Butters, who was a good sacrifice; Pip, who had one hell of an arm; Tweek, who jumped at the sight of the ball and could avoid it if it was thrown two inches away; Timmy, a catcher; Bebe who didn't throw like a girl; Heidi, who didn't give a damn, but was pretty good if she tried, and finally Red, who was hopeless at dodgeball. There were also a few other characters who are seen, but never heard from in the series.

Cartman and Kenny were on the other team. Their team was pretty good, too. It was going to be a close one.

They were all poised and ready for action, each one of them tensed up and ready to spring the second the whistle blew. It was coming...

BREET!

They all sprung up and raced towards the balls in the middle. Stan grabbed one and whipped it at the first person he saw. It made contact and the game truly began. Balls flew everywhere, and the gym was a veritable ballet of throwing, catching and dodging. The teams were whittling down, and fewer and fewer people were left.

Soon it was down to Stan, Kyle and Tweek against Cartman and Craig. Craig smoked Tweek, and Stan hit Craig. It was Stan and Kyle versus Cartman. A battle for the ages. The outcome of the match seemed obvious. Stan and Kyle both had balls, and took aim. They were going to annihilate the fat ass. Stan threw his ball first. It soared and was about to reach its target...

Cartman caught it.

"Haha! I caught your ball Stan! You are OUT!" Cartman cried triumphantly. "Now it's down to you and me Kyle! Come on, Jew-boy! Whatcha gonna do? You can't hit me, I'm invincible!"

"Oh yeah, fat boy?" Kyle shot back "You couldn't hit the broad side of a barn. Besides, you're not exactly an easy target to miss. I donno how you made it to the end."

The two exchanged dirty looks. Kyle held his ball high, and Cartman waved his catch. "Throw the God damn ball!"

The people on the sides cheered and jeered, they threw out taunts and encouragement. Both students continued to stare at one another. It all came down to this. This was the deciding moment. Which team, which boy would ultimately win dodgeball bragging right for all eternity?

They both threw the balls, both at the exact same time. The crowd was dead silent, watching with bated breath as the balls soared towards the other side. Simultaneously, just as they had been thrown, the balls were caught at the exact same time in the exact same second.

The silence continued, atmosphere making a drastic switch from expectant to bewildered and stunned. They gaped at each boy, both of whom had looked triumphant, only to return to glaring.

"So what the hell does this mean?" Cartman asked.

"It's a tie, you moron," Kyle declared.

"A tie? That is so weak. That's bullshit. What do you mean, a tie?!" Cartman raged.

The rest of the class was just as indignant. It was a tie game. There was no time for a rematch, so they had to live with it. So no ultimate glory, no infinite bragging rights, nothing. It was just "They both played well, and were equally good." What in the hell were they supposed to do with that?

"OK kids, great job! Tomorrow we'll return to our regular classes with Basketball!" their gym teacher declared.

"You are going down in basketball, Cartman!" Kyle challenged.

"You're on!"

**Author's Note: **Yeah, yeah I know they did a dodgeball episode. Ending's kinda gay, but that's OK. Random stories, remember?


	3. Everyday Late November

**Author's Note: **So I had this song stuck in my head, and I felt compelled to write a songfic using it. It's something I just threw together, so enjoy. Stendy.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own South Park or the song **Everyday (Late November)**. I credit the characters and the lyrics to the rightful owners, and as much as I would have liked to have written this son or created these characters, I didn't.

_Song Lyrics_

Story

**Everyday (Late November)**

_In late November  
on a lonely road_

It was a calm, quiet evening. The street was deserted except for one small boy with a red poofball on his blue hat. Not a single car had breezed past him for over ten minutes. Stan was completely alone, with only his thoughts to keep him company. A gust of wind blew suddenly.

_I zipped up my sweater  
__Cause I got cold_

The wind stung his face bitterly. Damn it was cold out. That was probably one of the reasons nobody was outside. Stan stuffed his hands in his pockets. Underneath his favourite brown jacket he was wearing a dark green sweater that had been a gift to him.

_I was under pressure  
and overwhelmed  
I lost my direction  
I had no way out_

Sometimes spending too much time in your own head is not a good idea. The green sweater led his mind to his girlfriend, the one who bought him the sweater in the first place. That was where he was headed. He was going to Wendy's house because he had to see her. He walked up the door and rang the doorbell.

"Stan?"

Kyle was standing in the doorway. The first emotion that rushed through him was fury. What was Kyle doing at his girlfriend's house? His anger lasted only momentarily, however, as he swiftly realized that he was in fact at Kyle's house. Why was he at Kyle's house?

"Oh, yeah, hey Kyle. I was just on my way to see Wendy..." A small frown creased Stan's forehead.

"I see. Well, do you want to come in for a bit, you look like you've spent the last hour in a deep freeze," Kyle offered.

Stan considered this for a moment. "OK, but just for a little bit, I have to see Wendy."

Kyle nodded and let his friend in. "So what do you need to see Wendy about?"

Stan shrugged. "I just haven't seen her for a while. I felt like I should go talk to her."

"Does she know you're coming?" Kyle asked.

Stan shook his head. "I thought I would surprise her. Besides, if I called her beforehand, we probably would have wound up just having a conversation on the phone. We can talk on the phone anytime. I need to _see_ her."

_Everyday is melting away  
It's never the same as the one before and  
With everyday things can change  
Tomorrow is never that far away_

They sat in silence as Stan thawed. Finally, he felt he could no longer put this off. Stan said goodbye to Kyle and continued on to Wendy's house.

_Fe__els like forever  
since I've been home  
And even under my sweater  
I was a frozen ghost_

Stan hadn't been outside for five minutes and he was already a frozen Stansicle. Now he really couldn't wait to get to Wendy's house. He was beginning to lose feeling in his toes.

Finally reaching his destination, Stan rang the doorbell. Wendy's father opened the door. The man gave him an appraising look, but after a moment he seemed to register that the boy at the door was in fact his daughter's girlfriend, and was slowly freezing off his extremities. Mr. Testaburger opened the door and invited Stan inside. "Wendy's in her room," he stated curtly. His tone wasn't unfriendly, but it was firm enough to make it clear he was in charge.

Stan nodded in thanks and briskly made his was up the stairs to Wendy's room. He knocked twice and waited for Wendy to give her consent for entry.

"Yes? Come in!" she called.

Stan turned the knob and pushed the door open. He smiled as he saw his girlfriend's pretty face. Of course he saw her at school, and occasionally talked to her, but it had been a long time since he surprised her at home. It had been ages since he had come over only to find her seated cross-legged on her bed, studying. It seemed like eons since he smelled her familiar fruity, girly aroma. It felt like forever since they connected, or kissed.

"Hi Stan!" she cried, ecstatic. Her face was radiant as she embraced him. She planted a kiss square on his cheek and, impulsively, Stan emptied the contents of his stomach all over her.

It had been forever since he'd done that too.

And although it was disgusting and humiliating to puke all over you girlfriend, neither of them seemed to notice enough to care.

_Everyday is melting away  
It's never the same as the one before and  
With everyday things can change  
Tomorrow is never that far away_

"Stan," she repeated, her voice softer. "Oh, I'm glad you came. When was the last time we actually talked?"

Stan thought that over for a moment. "Um, I think it might have been last Tuesday..."

OK, so it really hadn't been that long, but the days seemed to have melted into each other, and it seemed like far longer than it actually was.

_I feel better under my sweater  
It's so damn cold and I can't stop thinking that  
I feel better under my sweater today_

Chills rushed through Stan's body, and he felt colder than he had been outside. Goosebumps erupted along his arms, despite the blasting heat and his two jackets. Wendy unzipped his brown jacket, simply out of curiosity, and beamed when she spotted the sweater.

"Stan, I've always though you look good in green," she breathed.

The two sat on Wendy's bed. They sat in silence, but it was a blissful, nobody-has-to-say-anything silence. They were happy.

_Everyday is melting away  
It's never the same as the one before and  
With everyday  
_

_Everyday is melting away  
It's never the same as the one before and  
With everyday things can change  
Tomorrow is never that far away_

They continued to sit on Wendy's bed, and they began to talk. They talked for what seemed like hours. They were happy to be in each other's company. It was hard for either of them to imagine that they had ever broken up. They had been through so much together. Together, they made it through Cartman's anal probe, the Kyle list issue and the crisis at Pioneer Village.

It started getting late. "I really should go," Stan muttered.

The two smiled at each other, and neither got up. Unfortunately, Mr. Testaburger felt that it really was time for Stan to depart. He made this very clear, and gave them five minutes to say goodbye.

They hugged, kissed and puked, saying a bittersweet goodbye. For them, tomorrow couldn't come fast enough.

_Tomorrow will be here soon (I feel better under my sweater)  
Tomorrow is something new (It's never the same, things can change)_

**Author's Note: **Yeah, I know it's kind of fluffy and all that. That might not have necessarily been what the song was really about, but I did my best. First songfic, actually.


	4. Slumber Party

**Author's Note:** This story was inspired by The Simpsons episode, Flaming Moe's. At the beginning of the episode, Lisa has a slumber party and harassed Bart. I just figured it was the kind of thing Shelly would do.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own South Park, but I do own the episode of inspiration... on DVD.

* * *

**Slumber Party**

Stan shifted impatiently and uncomfortably. He sat on his bed, waiting for Kyle to get there. It really was urgent. The girls had been there for five minutes already, and he didn't think he could take another moment of it without some moral support. He didn't see why he had to be at home in the first place. Why couldn't he go out? His parents didn't want him going out tonight, but they said he could have friends over, as long as they stayed out of his sister's way. He could stay out of his sister's was a lot better if he was, oh, say, at KYLE'S HOUSE!

Finally, after seemed like forever, the doorbell rang. Stan didn't want to subject his friend to facing his sister and all her friends, but there was no way he was leaving this room. Besides, what if it was another one of Shelly's friends? The identity of the visitor was confirmed by a shrill screech.

"Your stupid little friend is here, Stan!"

Tentatively, he left his room, and gestured for Kyle to run upstairs. Kyle looked a little taken aback by the scene before him. Shelly and four of her friends were clustered in the front living room. A mess of chips and other snacks lay haphazardly on the table and on the couch. At the moment, they were all congregated around the door to greet Kyle. Shooting his friend a look, Kyle raced up the stairs and met up with Stan before the girls could do any damage.

"What the hell is going on here?" Kyle asked incredulously.

"Slumber Party," Stan said simply.

Kyle's eyes widened. "Oh Jesus, are you shitting me? Why are you dragging me into this?"

"Dude, I'm sorry I had to bring you down with me, but I'd do the same for you," Stan apologized.

Kyle cocked an eyebrow in disbelief. So he was playing the friend card. "Oh yeah, like when Ike has his slumber parties, and I'm in danger of going insane. Yeah, nice try man. I know we're friends, but you're asking a lot here. You owe me big here. Why didn't you ask Kenny or someone?"

Stan rolled his eyes. "I considered asking Kenny, but then I realized that I would just be fulfilling his sick fantasies. Being surrounded by five older girls who are intent on making you miserable is just what Kenny wants, and what kind of help would that be for me? It's not like it's going to stop Shelly from torturing me."

Kyle looked into his friend's pleading eyes. "Fine," he sighed. "I guess it would just be cruel and unusual to expect you to handle this on your own."

"Thank you _so_ much Kyle!"

"Yeah, yeah," Kyle replied dryly. As an afterthought he added "You still owe me though."

"OK, fine. So what do you wanna do?" Stan asked.

They passed the time going through comic books and playing video games on Stan's room TV. Kyle, naïve as ever, couldn't help but think this wasn't going to be so bad...

Shrill giggles came from outside the door. "Hey turd, get your ass out here!" Shelly screeched piercingly.

Stan and Kyle exchanged panicked looks. "Oh God, hearing their forty-five minute conversation about Justin Timberlake wasn't bad enough, now they're actually _involving _us in their activities?" Stan muttered to Kyle. Louder, he called "No Shelly, leave us alone! We've kept out of your way!"

More shrill giggling from outside the door. Stan's response didn't satisfy Shelly. She was obviously bent on doing whatever diabolical torture method she had planned. "Open this door, turd, or I'll break it down myself!"

"Don't do it man!" Kyle protested as Stan hesitantly slid off the bed.

"Dude, we're only making her angrier!" Stan reasoned. Before his friend could say anything else, Stan opened his door a crack. Shelly stood right outside his door, scowl prominent on her face. Her four friends were clustered around her, giggling into their hands, eyes lit up with sheer delight. Obviously they had something sinister planned.

"What do you want, Shelly?" Stan asked, holding the door firmly in place so she couldn't attempt a break-in.

"We were playing truth or dare and Sam dared Chrissie to kiss you. You gotta do it turd, or I'll beat you for the next month!" Shelly ordered.

"You'll beat me anyway!" Stan pointed out. "There is no way I'm going to let one of your friends kiss me and infect me with her cooties!"

"Cooties?" Kyle asked incredulously. "Dude, you had a girlfriend, what are you talking about cooties. You don't believe that shit."

Stan ignored him.

"Fine, then get your turd friend out here, Chrissie will kiss him then!" Shelly countered.

"What?!" Kyle exclaimed.

"You heard her Kyle, get out there!"

"No fucking way, I can't believe you'd sell me out like that! It's bad enough I'm here, now you're actually making me _kiss_ one of the girls!"

"If you do it, I'll clean your room for two months and you get any video game you want!" Stan offered.

"Make it two games and I'm in."

Stan considered this. "Fine. OK, Kyle's coming out now!"

Kyle leapt off the bed and cautiously approached the door. "Which one's Chrissie?"

A pretty blonde girl raised her hand. Out of the five, she was definitely the prettiest. For that Kyle was glad. Besides her and Shelly there was a mousy brunette with an overlarge nose, another blonde with greasy hair and a girl with black hair who wasn't a complete eyesore, but her clothes were torn and mismatched.

"OK, let's get this over with," Kyle mumbled grudgingly.

"Alrighty, here I go..."

It lasted for a split second before both parties pulled away quickly. "There, see I did it. Now I go, right?" Chrissie asked.

"Well, it was kind of short..." the mousy haired girl said. "But it'll have to do. I don't think _he'd_ go it again. Go ahead."

Kyle dashed back into Stan's room and Stan closed the door. "So how was it?"

Kyle rolled his eyes. "Just peachy. So when do I get my video games?"

There was another knock at the door. "Turd, we're not done with you. You and your little turd friend get your asses back out here! We're done with truth or dare, we're gonna treat you turds to makeovers!" Shelly shrieked.

"Dude! No! I thought it was over! Makeovers? Stan, you owe me so much more than two video games and room cleaning service for two months," Kyle declared vehemently.

"Like what?" Stan asked.

Before Kyle had the chance to respond, the door flew open and the girls flooded in. The boys cried out in alarm as the girls advanced. Dodging out of the way they made a break for it. There was no way they were going to let a bunch of girls give them makeovers.

"Get them!"

They ran downstairs and found Stan's dad seated on the couch watching TV. Obviously the girls abandoned the living room giving Mr. March claim to the TV. The boys figured they could get some support from the man of the house.

"Dad! You gotta help us! Shelly and her friends won't leave us alone. One of her friends had to kiss Kyle on a dare, and now they want to give us makeovers!" Stan explained urgently to his father. "Dad make them stop, we just want to get through this night in one piece."

"Stan! Are you bothering your sister?" Mr. Marsh snapped.

"No! She's bugging us!"

"God damn it son, I told you that you could have a friend over tonight as long as you left your sister and her friends alone. Don't harass her. She's having a sleepover, so it's her night. You leave her and her friends alone Stanley, or you'll be grounded. You're lucky you're having anyone over tonight," Randy reprimanded.

"Aw, but dad!" Stan whined.

"No buts Stanley. You take your makeovers like men!" Stan's dad yelled.

The girls caught up with the boys and exchanged evil grins. Stan and Kyle knew they were in for it now. They had lost, the girls had won.

Ding dong!

"I'll get it!" Stan and Kyle cried in unison. They rushed to the door before any of the girls could beat them to it. Stan opened the door and Kyle greeted the man on the doorstep.

"Um, pizza delivery," the man stuttered.

Shelly and her friends stormed up and pushed the boys out of the way. They paid for their pizza and brought it up to Shelly's room, completely forgetting about her brother and his friend. It seemed that the boys were safe... for now.

They trekked back up the stairs and into Stan's room. Kyle picked out two video games, plus Stan gave him five of his best comic books and ten bucks. Kyle thought his friend owed him way more than that, but he decided it would have to do for the moment. They went back to playing more video games and doing whatever they could to pass the time. Kyle was staying the night, and it would be bedtime soon. They almost made it...

The door flew open. Clearly the girls abandoned the courtesy of knocking. It all happened quickly. Each boy was being pinned down by a girl. Chrissie took Kyle and the other blonde took Stan. They didn't forget about the makeover, it was just put off. Shelly supervised while the mousy girl and the raven haired girl worked the boys over. They brushed out the boys' hair and applied makeup to their unwilling faces.

"There! All done," black hair announced. "Oh, don't they just look darling?!"

"Jeez, I am a freaking artistic visionary!" mousy cried. "I don't know how I did it, but I somehow managed to _do_ something with these insane curls. Like, honestly, sometimes I amaze even myself!"

"Oh, get over yourself Sam," greasy blonde scoffed. "It's not that great.

Sudden bright flashes blinded the boys. The girls were taking pictures! This was going too far. The boys would get their revenge!

"Alright, we're done with them," Shelly declared. "And if you boys get in our way at any point tonight, these pictures will be all over the internet."

So much for revenge.

The girls piled out of the room, leaving the boys looking "pretty" and humiliated.

"We need to get those pictures," Kyle proclaimed dramatically.

They spent the rest of the night not playing video games, but plotting. Plotting how they would get the pictures, and, if they had time, their revenge. The main priority was to gain possession of the pictures. Stan didn't have to worry so much, but if Cartman caught so much as a glimpse of these... well, Kyle had no future in this town, or any other.

They would wait until the girls fell asleep. Kyle would check to see if the camera was with the girls, and Stan would take Shelly's room. Once they got the camera, they would delete the pictures before anyone ever saw them. But first... They had to wash off all the shit on his face.

It really was an uninspired plan, but it made the most sense. They came up with some other ones, but they were pretty wild, and involved some things they would have an extremely hard getting a hold of. So they stuck with the basics, choosing to ignore how long it took for them to come up with it.

They took a look to see if the girls were asleep yet. Fortunately for them, they were. So they took that chance to put their plan in action. Kyle crept down the stairs and Stan poked around his sister's room. Shelly's friends kept their bags downstairs, and Kyle went through them. He wasn't sure whose camera it was, or how many people took pictures, so he just took all of them. They couldn't take any chances. This was a critical mission.

Stan looked through Shelly's drawers, under her bed, in her closet, and anywhere else she might hide a camera. He found some magazines, crap pop CDs and a box of tampons, but no camera. He just hoped Kyle was having better luck.

Kyle took the five cameras he had and snuck back towards the stairs. Sam (the mousy haired girl) twitched and uttered a small moan in her sleep. Kyle froze at the sound. If any of the girls woke up, they were screwed. Fortunately for him, she just rolled over and carried on sleeping. He exhaled softly and continued making his way back upstairs. He was almost home free when...

"Ow, shit!" he hissed. Kyle had walked into an end table he didn't remember being there. Greasy blonde was the first one up.

"Oh look," she muttered sleepily. "It's one of them nine-year-olds. Shelly's brother's friend. Hi Shelly's brother's friend! Wait, what do you have? Oh damn! Sam! Shelly! Courtney, Chrissie wake up! He's got our cameras!" She shook her friends awake. They were for it now. So much for their plan.

"Kyle, what's going- Oh Christ, good going Kyle!" Stan called from upstairs.

"Dude, weak! Sorry, but that stupid end table. I didn't see it!" Kyle defended.

"Get them!" Sam cried.

"Shit!" Kyle ran up the stairs. They raced once again into Stan's room once again. "Stan! Distract them; I'll get rid of the pictures!" Kyle shouted frantically.

"Distract? How? Oh shit! Shelly, look! It's Justin Timberlake!" Three of the girls actually looked, but Shelly shot her brother a death glare. "Kyle, hurry up! I don't know how much longer I can hold them off! OK, I'm sorry Shelly! Just leave us alone! I'll give you my dessert at supper for the next week!"

"Nice try, turd. You'll have to do better than that!" Shelly laughed.

"Kyle, hurry UP!"

"Done! Here, take these." Kyle tossed each camera one at a time to Stan, who, in turn, handed them off.

"Here are your fucking cameras, sheesh!" Stan sighed.

"You think you're getting off just like that. Ladies! Smooch time!" Shelly ordered.

The girls lined up, and each took a turn to kiss the boys respectively. Stan and Kyle cringed with each peck, and each smooch seemed to last longer than the first. When it was finally over, a chorus of giggling started up and faded as they went back downstairs.

"God damn it. Stan, you really owe me."

"Yeah, I know."

* * *

**Author's Note:** OK, so now I'm going to be pathetic, and ask you to leave a review. PLEASE! Only one of my stories in this collection has reviews. Seriously, if you're gonna read this, take another 30 seconds to let me know what you thought! I'll give you a cookie! Flames are ignored...


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